3 posts tagged “friendship”

Whenever I speak to my mom, it's generally a mixed bag. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes not. Sometimes there's laughter, sometimes someone gets angry...and occasionally, there's bad news.

Last Friday, I was informed that a preschool classmate of mine passed away, unexpectedly. To add an extra kick in the testes, she was pregnant and they were to induce labor the very next day; the twins were stillborn.

Is this really what growing up is really about? Over the last few years, I've lost two nephews, one of which I couldn't begin to describe our relationship; brotherhood comes close, but doesn't quite nail it, my mother's two best friends, who were like aunts to me...actually, I referred to one as such and two blood-related aunts, one of which is what I think of when I think "Aunt". This is not what I had in mind as far as growing up is concerned (yes, I realize death is a part of life).

The hardest part of losing Sparkle (I will not code name her; this is what we called her, she still goes by Sparkle, she will forever be known as Sparkle...actually, I'd forgotten her real name until yesterday...) is that we were the good ones. Not just me and her; Shannon, "my BFF" Chris, Courtney, Arenda, Sophie...the list could go on. We all started preschool together, we all thought we'd grow up together (and we did, for the most part), we were the intelligent ones. Sparkle is the second person from our p/s class to pass away...and not from being a product of her environment.

Chris still lives across the street from my mom; my mom and three other parents occasionally get together --went to high school with one of the girls from our "group"...just three weeks ago I explained the relationships of most of our class to Overboard with my mom noting that she and and Sparkles mom recently saw each other...

I don't think really "checked in" from an emotional standpoint until a few minutes ago. Maybe my nieces are right; the good do die young.

In any case, Rest In Peace Sparkle.
Chris

Life is all about experiences; good or bad, experiences navigate you through life. Happiness and sadness, looking forward with despair or just looking forward, what we experience from day to day shapes our lives for the better or for the worse.

An essential part of this journey is taking the good with the bad and rolling with the punches; you can't control everything, no matter how much you try. Everyone, at some point or another, has to be a spectator. What most people don't understand however, is that while you're a spectator, you must cheer; there is no bad without good, no good without bad --nothing is perfect.

As I take a short introspective look at my own journey, I now must cheer. As I do so, I will do so loudly, because I know that those who are playing spectator in my life are cheering for me; that, ladies and gentlemen, is a damn good feeling. I am happy...not for myself, but for my spectators.

-Hangtime.

Hey kid,

What's good. It's been awhile, I know, but I think about you a lot. It's really hard to believe it's been a year but time flies I guess. I still don't believe it sometimes, I guess part of me is still holding on. I forget sometimes and pull your number up to call and then I remember again. How are things up there? Do you see Dad or Aunt Retha? Ms. Charlene joined you guys too, keep an eye out.

I talked to Cat today, she sounded good; I'm glad. I was a little sad last night and this morning. Just the thought of getting a knock at 4 am scared me out of sleep for a little bit, but I was so tired I eventually fell asleep...lol. Last time I spoke to Briana, she sounded like a grown woman; yea, I know, I'm going to the range next week, lol. Tyreek didn't quite know who I was, but understandable I guess. Ma sent me pics of her and Peanut; she's getting so big and just like Briana, she looks just like you. William is doing well. He's doing what he's supposed to so...

Ronni, Mike and the kids are doing well too. I haven't seen Mike and the kids all year though; I should be going over there tomorrow to see them. I test for my black belt in two weeks, looking forward to that. I want to go home sometime this spring or summer, but we'll see. I want to come visit, but well, you know how that goes...I'll be there --come hell or high water-- I be selfish like that, I'm looking forward to it.

Why I'm telling you all this, I don't quite know, you can see it all so...hehe.

I guess you also know that I haven't talked to Denise (but then again, I haven't talked to Tomeka or Diana either...lol) since your wake; I want to but I think the anger keeps from it. I will, I know I will, I have to; I made you a promise and I will keep it.

I was talking to Lisa probably once a week for a little while there, I don't know what happened though. Most weeks, I talk to Tanika once or twice. Really, I don't think there is anything else to tell; you can see what's going on with Lindsay and I ( ) so, well... like I said .

I miss you more than you (or anyone else) knows, see you soon.
R.I.P.
Love Chris